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Vacancy
They like to tell you on TV about their grief: dramatic renderings of their reactions a symphony of self-indulgence “I heard the news and I screamed I cried I just broke down sobbing I was screaming so loud, I was I I I” I am standing in the grocery store silent I lost that part…
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Feel.
my brake lights shot like Walter Scott’s but I’m alright It’s just a warning
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Forgot
Here are some things that I’ve forgotten: the formula for pi the recipe for chocolate chip cookies the capital of Minnesota (perhaps I never knew, or cared) the middle name of Paul McCartney the way it felt to come down and stop and wait and hope my heart would seize in the split second that…
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Not.
I was walking and walking and walking and everything was a reflection and I could see myself surviving and then not.
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Quiet Down
I wish that I could set this down and walk away, rest it on the table near the front door and turn the lock behind me and forget about it by the time I hit the button to unlock the car door by the time the music starts and my foot is on the gas…
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On Compassion and the Taking of Children
Note: I originally posted this on my personal facebook page. I’m reposting it here at my mother’s request, with some insignificant personal details removed. My mom helped teach me to be kind and to be fierce, and most importantly, that the two do not always have to be shown in conjunction. We are living in…
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On Acknowledging the Reality of Suicidal Depression
Sometimes the most helpful thing, the ONLY helpful thing, is to have someone say “This fucking sucks so hard, I hear you, hey scoot over and let me share the dark with you for a minute.”
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“Hello, this is your grandfather, Perry.”
It takes two bulldozer buckets full of dirt to cover the thing that holds the thing that left the space behind. One man with a shovel to smooth it over. Six men to carry the box. 92 years to create a life that leaves the world devoid.
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Valentine
Hey now, can you keep me under the radar, in that spot where the rain falls heavy Can you be the cloud that rushes me alive Hey can you keep me tucked in your pocket, deep in the dark where your heartbeat hides Can you dance with me to the same tune under the glow…
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2017: Depression Ate My Brain
I wish the years were neatly separate, distinct like they are on paper segmented like an earthworm you can tear apart and watch the old parts writhe and bleed