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Keyboard Revolution
In a month or so, we’ll all line up heel toe heel toe bootstraps high and tight against our shins so as not to betray the fact that we are privileged to be here; we will stack ourselves in tidy rows and parcel out our tiny pencils we will color in the circles very carefully…
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New Book, “Chicken Soup for the Fuck You,” is here.
My new book, Chicken Soup for the Fuck You: Inspirations, Observations, and Character Assassinations is now available in print and Kindle format via Amazon. Here’s a little about the book: “Chicken Soup for the Fuck You” is spit straight from the hyperactive brain of a lifelong oddball who has, to put it simply, seen some…
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Mountain of Words Write-A-Thon for Asheville Writers in the Schools and Community
Hi friends, a couple years ago, I participated in the first Mountain of Words write-a-thon for Asheville Writers in the Schools and Community. I’m very excited to have been asked to participate again this year. Here’s how it works: people sponsor me in any amount they choose (really, any little bit helps) and in return,…
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After Life
Someday, it will be the end. It will be over and if you believe in Heaven, I will rip you from your mother’s warm embrace pull out the thick umbilicus and strangle you with the only thing you ever truly wanted watch you fight the blackness that creeps into your eyes, bursts of light, the…
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Vintage Christmas
I have paid a thousand hours penance for her spun silk hair and faded blue eyes sliced my voice on the shattered glass of fragile Christmas bulbs golden stars and sparkling orbs, blue and red and green and touched with glitter in the center of something plastic, the holy parents pray over the lifeless molded…
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The Latest Book
For those of you who are interested in such things, here’s the new book: a collection of some of my most controversial work, including “A Love Letter to Pat Robertson” and “Mother Whore and the Monsters on the Hill.” As always, thank you for your constant support. I appreciate you all more than I can…
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Prom Queen [Not Autobiographical]
I never could have been the prom queen, perfect hair and teeth and nails, smiling sweetly for the cameras humble under my sash and crown and waiting for the crowd to blink and offer up the chance to pull the flask out from between my legs beneath the satin curtain of my dress. I was…
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Lost Dogs
This feels empty as if the dogs have all gone home and left us to our own devices, on our own to deal with the monsters and the maniacs hiding in the shadows and even with the lights all on, the television blaring comedy and news into our deconstructed brains, there is a silence and…
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Pieces.
More things that make me happy, because I don’t have the words to tell you.