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Four Windows.
Depression is pervasive; it gets deep into your head. It’s not a sign of strength or weakness or malignant character, it simply IS… Sometimes you just need to have acknowledged that yes, there really aren’t enough windows in this place.
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Dregs
If you don’t believe I’m an optimist, you’ve never seen me at the tail end of winter waiting for the vagrants to drag their weary bones across the lawn, leaving trails of dust and grooves from worn-down heels gaping mouths turned toward the clouds praying for rain while the birds drop hulls from angry beaks…
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Spring
If the fear doesn’t get me the winter will, freeze me out of myself until I crack and drown below the surface Each turn of the page pulls me closer A spiral drawn in shades of black and grey So for now I’ll sit and watch the rain, watch the world come back to green…
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25th of January, 2013
It’s been a while. Beloved’s father (who signs his emails, now, love, Dad, which somehow makes me feel a little more okay in a very much not-okay world) mentioned recently that I hadn’t said much lately. Sorry about that. Sometimes there just isn’t much to say. It’s January. Cold and dark and fuck, what are…
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November Again.
this is when the darkness crawls in through my eyes, making pupils grow darker than normal with no sunlight anywhere nothing reflecting, the night settles in to my bones, through my pores makes my blood thick and slow, turns my lungs to cement i can’t breathe like this and the clouds gather, silently mocking creating…
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Reprieve
I don’t do well in winter, generally. The cold and the snow get me, for sure, but I think there’s something about the light, the dismally scant hours between dark and dark that pull me into this liquid place like forgetting something important and keeps me there for months. It’s tolerable most of the time,…
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April Fox 