April Fox

If the fear doesn’t get me

the winter will,

freeze me out of myself until I crack

and drown below the surface

Each turn of the page pulls me closer

A spiral drawn in shades

of black and grey 

So for now I’ll sit and watch

the rain,

watch the world come back

to green

one tiny life

at a time

Stand under the apple tree,

bees spinning frantic around my head

tripping hard from one branch to the next,

giving praise to each fragile blossom,

their creators

marking time with heartbeats

that will burn them out

before they hit the ground. 

When the sun comes back I will

burn her in to me,

scorch my skin with the slowing-down

of every second

I can hold.